Truth in Human Experience #1:
The Value of Self-Reflecting on Nothing
You are reading this because you are a human being. You are nothing else, you are not an insect nor an animal, nor a tree, nor a body of water. You are a human being. The faculties of self-recognition and language are in you, are of the physiological, of the neurological, of the capability of being. The opportunity to utilize the reflective-mechanism within, is occurring and is essential at all stages of life, it is a characteristic of primordial humanness, humanness that is simply a characteristic of itself.
With such a reflective-mechanism at hand, what would be an intelligent way to use it? (Afterall we are those who know they know ).
Let’s look at the domesticity of our situation, let’s really look into the dirt, grit, and crumb of our mundane domestic reality, see anything? See anything that would require desire to step in and change the channel, anything at all?
Static-white-noise, also known as agitation, it’s not the first thing anyone might notice, but the characteristic mechanism to fill in a blank when a blank appears, is indeed a distaste for what can’t be easily dealt with, zoom in closer, and it’s simply feeling uncomfortable with what isn’t filled, and even closer, zoom in even closer, and it’s simply a sense of suffering, suffering over what can’t be dealt with.
Without first acknowledging this ground-level of suffering, nothing actually can be dealt with, so most of the time it’s platter after platter, channel after channel, what feels like fun and what feels like boredom, and many, most of us, live our whole lives like that, with the exception of when loss happens and when we learn something new that deeply-inspires our interests.
Yet the agitation is still there in proportion with what isn’t understood in knowing how to deal with. We, humans, can reflect on this. We can reflect on our trouble with the inability in knowing how to deal with an empty, blank space, that is the space which fills the backdrop of all our domesticity. We can reflect on this. We have the capacity and the ability to reflect on this, because we are human, and we have the ability to self-reflect.
What would be the value in reflecting on this blank, negative-space, of the domesticity of our daily, mundane, lives? What, what would it be? Why would we look at that? Isn’t the whole point to have a TV to watch shows, to have an enriching life, of wonder and daily beauty? Why would we look at the space which the walls of our house surround, the walls of our bills, the walls of our love, the walls of our cars, the beautiful walls which make up our lives moment by moment, why, why would we look at the space which is negated by the fact we have walls, entertainment, and something always to do?
Well, to start with, we could look at the blank, open space of what surrounds each moment without distraction just to see what it’s like? To see if we can see ourselves in it, like looking on a mirror. We could look at the negative-space which surrounds our domesticity, and the very definition of our lives to simply see what it’s like. And in so doing, by seeing what it’s like, we also learn what it is like for us individually to look upon the negation of all things, and in so doing, we gain an experience that is different than the ordinary change of the TV channel.
We gain an experience that is different than the ordinary change of the TV channel, or going to get ice-cream or whatever we usually do at that moment, we are simply doing something different, something else, something unfamiliar, something kind of strange; we are simply seeing what it’s like to see ourselves look at what we usually wouldn’t ever even consider to look at, the negation which surrounds our lives.
Why does anyone want to do such an aimless and pointless activity?
It is in doing such an aimless and pointless activity, such as reflecting on the negative space of our lives, that actually brings about new experiences of profound implication, what may be defined as transformative.
Then what is the value of the transformative?
To transform, which also causes a difference in behavior during relating to others.
Transformative implies the reflection on insights which have a profound affect on us, and have the agency to be integrated into our ability to deal with what first-appears as annoying, and these insights provide substance to keep looking and to keep seeing and to keep reflecting on no-thing because, simply because, we learn about ourselves, others, and what the condition of being human most deeply desires more than anything; and we have a larger capacity to deal with what is hard to deal with, looking at nothing, and what the condition of being human most deeply desires more than anything:
Freedom. Happiness. Oneness. Intimacy.
Okay, it’s not very entertaining to look at the mundaness of the negative space which surrounds each moment of our built-up wondrous lives, but it does provide honesty. It does provide honesty’s looking-upon what is uncomfortable to feel, and in so doing, there is an integrity to experiencing the honesty of disappointed lack-of-entertaining mundaness; there is integrity to that. There is integrity to simply, honestly, being with what is so boring to look at, and to actually feel that.
Then we could say we are developing integrity. We are developing integrity as humans by looking at what is so boring to look at, the negative space, which drives us nuts and isn’t entertaining. What’s the use in integrity? What’s the use in honestly feeling pist off about nothing to be pist off about? I’d rather drink a beer and watch TV, wouldn’t you?
As human beings we have the mechanism of self-reflection, it is a basic characteristic of being human, we can self-reflect. Would you rather self-reflect than watch-TV, it’s like learning? Do you like to learn? Learning isn’t particularly fun at times, but its nutritious for the brain, and nutritious for understanding the definitions of a new subject. Okay, let’s watch football sometimes, and let’s learn things sometimes. There is no need for all or nothing.
Let’s look at nothing for half-an-hour, and after we’re done that, let’s watch the game. Sounds like a plan!
And that’s the spirit. That’s the spirit we need to look at nothing and to continue to live day-to day.
What kinds of things could we learn from looking at nothing? Okay, I see I’m agitated, I really want to turn the TV on right now. I am learning I get agitated by not doing anything, okay I am learning about that, that’s really annoying, I’m learning I’m getting annoyed. Okay, I’m annoyed.
Keep looking. Keep looking until the experience of what the experience was naturally changes. Naturally changes means you didn’t do anything to exit the experience, you didn’t change your focus, you didn’t turn on the TV. The experience naturally changed. By the time half-an-hour is up, what the hell happened? What was it all that you went through? Just staring at the carpet?
Go through and go through and go through, staring at the carpet, until naturally you would like others to do that too.
Now, let’s go watch a movie!
Truth In Human Experience #2
Abandoning Identity Attachment: Trauma
There are different kinds of trauma, but the trauma focused here is the trauma of simply breathing. The breathing this is happening by whoever is reading this has trauma, somewhere. To make it less personal, all living beings have trauma somewhere. The moment our bodies popped out of our mothers, there was trauma. Trauma.
Trauma, all this trauma, all this unconscious wounded sense of self, all of it, a dent in the psyche, energy stored in the organs, in the body, memory, psychosomatic memory, everything is remembered in the body. The cells carry the weight of the past.
The cells carry the weight of what it was when and whatever it was when is stored in cellular-memory and it becomes part of the defining congruency of who you are, of who we are, of what life is known as.
Trauma is not personal because we are alive. The imprint of a dent in the body, wherever, specifically wherever it is, is also the source of its manifestation in our psyche. Our awareness is conditioned by the lack of circulation in cellular memory, in memory that has been traumatized..
There are blockages to what can be dealt with, there are blockages in awareness reflected in the body.
Is it possible you could remember your birth?
Not visual memory by memory, but by kinesthetic imprint, by sequence of kinesthetic imprint? And its psychic implications in awareness; the actual emotion, the actual intensity of that moment/s, the actual sense of what was happening?
Trauma we all have it.
And how it is stored in cellular memory is how it is attached to cellular function. The imprint the cell has endured is only a learned memory, is only what it learned to know, but it indeed is malleable. Cellular storage of trauma can be released, and cellular function can circulate differently. Trauma can release and cells can learn new ways of inhabiting energy.
At first we don’t know this. At first we don’t know that everything that we are reading is colored by our perception as the result of unacknowledged trauma, and this filter caused by the imprint of unreleased cellular indentation is reflecting the result of meaning that we’d prefer to understand. Our understanding is relatively conditioned by unexperienced trauma stored in our cellular memory, and this storage of trauma is attachment.
It is attachment. Stored trauma as cellular (known) functionality is attached to what cellular functionality knows itself as capable of being. This translates into our psyche as part of our unconscious identity, as part of how we know ourselves to be who we are, and this interpretation of how we know ourselves, is conditioned only by the lack of having experienced the trauma stored in the body. As a whole, having not experienced stored trauma in the body, the result of it in our psychology, is our identity, is, how we know who we think we are. How we know who we think we are can’t completely be explained, there is some mystery, what we can’t explain about ourselves is what is unconsciously stored in the body and therefore in our awareness; and our identity is the attachment to who we think we are, and if anything interferes with our coping strategies then our identity is threatened.
Who we think we are is a story; it is trauma attached to our cellular functionality. Who we think we are is the make-up of many components interpreting components interpreting components, a large knotted mass of clotted energy. Who we think we are, is a factor in the result of trauma, stored in the body, attached to cellular functionality, playing itself out through the conditions of our psychology.
Our psychology; our identity; our identity; our psychology. Our system is constantly trying to make sense of itself, due in part to trauma, due in part to the lack of functional cellular energy flow from the storage of traumatic imprint; everything is trying to figure out everything, through interpretive techniques, comparison, justifying, reasoning, etcetera. We are a story.
And a story has a moral and the moral is in service to the allegiance of not experiencing itself for what it is, trauma. Stored energy in the body that makes up our identity, and what trauma characteristically manifests as, in our psychology, is a system of defense against anything that would undermine the narrative of our lives, the narrative of what makes me, me.
And the 3 most basic ways our trauma manifests itself through our identity can be characterized by:
As long as there is stored trauma in the cells of our body, attached to cellular functionality, affecting our psychology and awareness, these 3 most basic characteristic manifestations of trauma, (coping mechanisms), become the defining components of how we function in daily-life, alone, with others, and in society—at every turn we are alive.
Ignorance is the basis for the other two characteristics of manifested trauma in our psychology. It is unconscious: it does not know what it does not know until it does know what it does know, and it can’t help that. It has made blank over suffering. There simply is a wall of white-noise, of static, of zero information about what to do or how to do it, what to say or how to behave, there is a guessing game, there is an ability to run away from everything, there is what has been taught through culture and family heritage as our known reference point, meanwhile we simply don’t know how we would behave, how we naturally would if we didn’t try to. Ignorance subsists on denial, on lying, on turning our backs on important situations, on diminishing the imperative of a moment, of shutting-down, turning-off, blocking-out, ignoring pain, ignoring suffering, ignoring what can’t be figured out, ignoring what terrifies us; forgetting.
Positivity. Positivity is a characteristic of trauma manifesting itself when, all we do is look at baby-photos, become sentimental, nostalgic, thinking of the good-old-days, and then, how to make things better. How to have more, how to live-forever, how to always have a good time, where the party never stops, and every moment is full of affection and sugar. Positivity is a large stuffed animal that we want to hold wherever we go, we always want the joy of the comfort of exciting new experiences. Positivity over-stuffs pain, crowds out suffering, it over-looks the reality of ignorance by providing a moment with another new toy, another game, another distraction; a distraction based in over-indulgence of using time to fulfill pleasure receptors until we are too tired and only want to sleep ensuring there is zero room to look at our suffering.
Aggression. Aggression is a characteristic of trauma manifesting itself when we feel frustrated, annoyed, hit-a-wall, feel over-powered, silenced, misunderstood, angry. Aggression wants nothing more than to stamp out a threat. On a more basic level, aggression is immediate reactivity; immediately not providing space for the natural flow of a conversation, of shutting down anything and everything that feels discomforting. Aggression wants to be justified in pain, it wants to point blame at outer circumstances, to never take responsibility for itself, to ward off suffering, stamp it out, destroy it, eradicate suffering from the face of the planet.
If you are reading this you have all 3 of these basic manifesting characteristics of trauma. It would be impossible as a living being not to.
So what can we do about all this?
Well what we can do is through time learn to see how our identities are a result of trauma stored in the body and reflected in awareness, and to do that, we must learn to abide in engaging zero activity but observing and breathing.
As we slow down and connect with ourselves on a moment by moment basis we can make penetrating insights into how our identities are fabricating realities through thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and fantasies.
As we learn to do nothing, we also learn to not engage the desired behavior of what we ordinarily would do when we had a certain thought or feeling. And in so doing, we don’t reify identity.
Do this long enough and cellular memory simply can’t handle it, simply because, by doing nothing but breathing and observing the mind and its manifestations of thoughts and feelings, we work the cells to do something different than what they are familiar with and what gives their state of trauma perpetual self-fulfilling destiny.
We literally exhaust habituated cellular functionality until their attached informational imprint dies, which is the result of having not suppressed or acted out behaviors associated with our identities. Our identities being, the result of the construct created by the 3 manifesting characteristics of trauma, we abandon our attachments by not fulfilling the preferences of our suffering.
We literally exhaust habituated cellular functionality by doing nothing.
When we abandon the behaviors of acting out or suppressing the manifesting characteristics of trauma, as they occur, our narrative and the result of our identity in that moment, and the conditions of our perceptions, transform.
And in so doing we learn to abandon our attachments to our identities, to who we think we are, and we experience something else, something cellular memory thought was impossible.
Cellular functionality as it knew its job to be, exhausts.
Simply not acting out or suppressing the manifesting characteristics of trauma causes our cells to experience something different than what they have been familiar with, and when this occurs we experience catharsis, a release of energy, a sense of surrender, a sense of psychological dismantling.
Our psychologies need to dismantle through abiding in abandoning our trauma attached cells by simply being with our own suffering. And in so doing, we transform.
During such transformation, we human beings fulfill, what it is to be alive.
Truth In Human Experience #3:
Undermining Distraction: In the Direction of Profound Transformation
It is true when we slow down and use our human self-reflecting mechanism of cognitive-awareness we are able to see through, penetrate through, the veils of our own suffering, and stored tension in the body, is able to release, and cellular functionality can learn new ways of exchange.
In order to do this, it is necessary to find the value in looking at the negative-space which surrounds our lives, the space no one likes to point to, the space we’ve habitually learned to ignore, paint-over, or simply not give any attention to.
The space that still asks, where’s the movie, the popcorn?
Consumerist society does not value the negative-space of life, the space void of all social significance and cultural reference points. In fact, the negative-space of life is considered fundamentally antagonistic towards consumerist value and ideal.
Consumerist society and mentality is like an unconscious reactivity born from un-developed emotional awareness, as a way of not acknowledging the negative-space surrounding life. Consumerism provides billions of opportunities for distraction.
Distraction from what?
Distraction from experientially facing the empty-space that surrounds all the stuff of our lives. All of our stuff and how we perceive all our stuff, the personally-attached significance, whether consciously or unconsciously, that defines our story, personality, and sense of value.
We will lose all of it at death.
Death happens a lot during war, and violence is a characteristic of war, and the suffering which always emerges from it, in proportion to consumerism, is simply placed aside from the working institutions of society and not integrated into the whole of society’s function.
Which is exactly like how trauma works in the microcosm of the body. Cellular functionality became imprinted with damage and stores tension, and the cells, in their shape with tension are unconsciously attached.
Due to the lack of integration of the energy stored in the cells, the body acts like it has placed aside the traumatic event and carries on just well. Meanwhile, the psychological manifestations of trauma are present and we are consumed in the institutions of reifying our behavior, therefore nothing of is integrated in the whole of our functionality and we continually place aside what we don’t know we are placing aside, until we transform and integrate differently.
If death in general were more directly incorporated into the structure of our lives, we would be living in a different society, and consumerism would have less of a distracting grip on our minds and hearts.
And we’d probably perceive our bodies differently.
Since we are very distracted, so deeply very distracted from not looking at the absence of what we’ve worked so hard to cover up, (how we feel about our bodies), to provide a strong-quality of life for ourselves and our spouses, our children, and immediate circle of friends, we find ourselves consistently needing to be busy and consistently needing to fill space in the event we are bored; and in the event our lives simply feel a bit droopy, which depending on the conditioning of stimulus we’re familiar to receiving, might be quite often, like nearly every few minutes feeling a need for having music, television, and something in our mouths at each instant.
The value in slowing down is to turn toward what is discomforting by using our human self-reflective mechanism to look at, and feel into, what it is like to do nothing.
There is something funny going on, to do nothing, is still doing something, but what? We’re examining what it is to not engage in any formal activity but breathing and experiencing.
And as we do this our capacity to deal with life expands.
And as we do this our cellular body of stored trauma releases and we transform.
If we get into the habit of daily engaging in the activity of abiding with breathing and experiencing as a form of doing nothing in relation to what we usually consider ‘doing something,’ then gradually the harmful limitations of our ability to deal with things snaps open, and our capacity for discomfort expands.
And as our capacity for discomfort expands so do our reactivities. Less, and less there is anything to defend because more and more our limitations for dealing with life transform. And as reactivities diminish, we begin to cultivate a genuine sense for less distraction.
Through the dismantling of our psychological orientation as wired from the implication of stored cellular trauma, we begin to experience a functionality for potential intimacy and connectivity, that at first we feel as somewhat scary and foreign, only because we don’t yet have any skills for how to orient ourselves in these new transformative psychological ways into the world.
However, quickly it can be noticed in our experience that the psychological insights which arrive during the release of physiological stored trauma in cellular functionality are inter-related with a simultaneous sense of understanding things we hadn’t previously understood. And this sense of new understanding, provides with it, a new sense of clarity.
The clarity which emerges from psychological insights as inseparable from the release of physiologically stored trauma in cellular function, is a humbling experience of truly being able to see and identify the causes and conditions for our own perpetuating victim-mentality, taking things personally, and our own blockages against forgiveness, our own walls against life.
All our reactivity: justification, rationalization, competition, one-up-manship, comparing, defensiveness, can simply crumble like as we were wearing layers of metallic armor, and suddenly all that heaviness dismantles.
The clarity which emerges from experiencing the release of stored trauma in cellular functionality and its psychological impact, may not necessarily be joyful to feel, but what it does provide is a sense of relief.
A relief from darkness of our own mystery and why we react the ways we do, from our perpetual state of heaviness. A relief from having to always perpetuate an unconscious lie. A relief from now knowing and seeing the behaviors and loops which have been reifying negative tendencies and magnetizing reinforcing put-down, from people, from our use of objects, and the use of our own bodies against ourselves, against our own wellbeing and against life itself.
A relief from tension attached to cellular functionality and the enslavement of the cell’s imprinted storage and wiring. When the cell releases attached tension, the cell’s functionality flows in a more healthy way, and during such a release, relief can be simply knowing that by experiencing this type of cellular shift, healing is happening.
The kind of relief that comes from experiencing all the ways we’ve been ignoring, over-compensating, reacting against life is very intimate and deeply personal to our own immediate situation, and to our own immediate wellbeing, and to our own immediate sense of skill-sets for helping ourselves. It can feel very exposing, very raw, very upsetting and challenging to our sense of self, to see all the ways we are addicted to covering up our lives, stuffing out sadness, hurting others. But in such exposure, relief comes as finally having a basis for being able to see ourselves in a non-threatening way and to see that we are changing, growing, healing, and that there is great potential for mending, acknowledging, and grief.
When we experience this relief, we also are with the intimacy of our immediate experience, and this kind of intimacy arrives as inseparable from the clarity of seeing the causes and conditions for acting out of, or suppressing, the negative space surrounding our lives. A clarity which occurs through a type of quality of being with ourselves, a type of quality for being alone with ourselves, an aloneness that is deeply and profoundly personal and unique.
This quality of aloneness, is an aloneness, because it is something which is occurring directly in our experiences immediately, now, and it is an aloneness because it is not translatable from experience into words. The experience is the experience only, and the words used are the words used only, but the words are not the experience, to use words is a different experience. The quality of aloneness of being only with our experience exactly as it is, is not necessarily loneliness, loneliness being an emotional indication of unbalanced relationships with people and community in our experience, aloneness, however is totally being with ourselves in an undistracted way and can provide the opportunity for feeling a release of tension stored in cellular function, and the sense of relief which can emerge from that experience.
Aloneness is feeling only directly what is going on in our immediate experience, which is whatever it is that we are immediately feeling, and when we do this, we are no longer fooling ourselves about anything particularly, especially our own intimate experience of what is happening right now.
Aloneness is the basis for profound transformation.
Truth In Human Experience #4:
Experiencing Ourselves Exactly As We Are As We Are Experiencing Ourselves and the Recognition of Disappointment as the Beginning of Genuine Acceptance.
By having identified the value in doing nothing, through the relinquishing of doing any other activity, for the duration of an allotted amount of time, and following through with engaging in this kind of endeavor for the allotted amount of time deliberately set aside, we are using our human-faculties to experience life differently than if we were with entertainment or socializing.
Perhaps we can ask ourselves again, why are doing this, why are we doing nothing, why are we doing this to ourselves—just staring at the carpet—not engaging at anything—isn’t our whole lives built around doing something, ensuring we get stuff done, ensuring we’re never bored, ensuring that there’s always something to do—so what’s the point of all this, looking at nothing, looking at the negative-space which surrounds our lives?
By relinquishing engagement on any other activity for the allotted time for doing nothing, we are exploring looking at what is occurring in the immediacy of our experience, even if, in the immediacy of our experience all we want to do is watch TV. We are just there with it, noticing what is occurring in our experience, just as it is.
We are just there with it, with whatever it is that is occurring, and we’re just there with it, and we’re looking, we’re looking at life from the eyes of not doing anything else, but experiencing ourselves just for what it is to be ourselves; and not do anything else, nothing else at all, but breathing and feeling, experiencing and noticing; what it means to be doing nothing, and through this endeavor recognizing the negative-space which surrounds our lives.
It is challenging.
It can be challenging to see all the things we’re doing while we’re not doing anything, it can be very challenging, an eye-opener about all the ways we’re trying to fill space, and habitually trying to turn-away from the emptiness that surrounds our lives. It can be very revealing, very shocking to see how our minds are trying to figure things out, trying to run-away, ignore, or justify, but it is by experiencing how are and recognizing our tendencies, during the time we’ve allotted for doing nothing, that we learn so much about ourselves, our lives, and our habits of mind.
And as we engage this way, of deliberately doing nothing, we are developing new patterns of cellular functionality and developing the potential for the release of unconscious trauma. When we engage in this way, we are being with our aloneness.
And such aloneness, (knowing now of the relief that comes with knowing there is a way to profoundly transform our limited abilities for dealing with discomfort, into developmentally being able to handle more discomfort without taking it personally), we may also simultaneously experience disappointment.
We were promised so much, from how we were raised, from our society, and culture, from our entertainment and our paycheck, about what it is to have a life—and that we could have fun when we go to the movies, and make memories with loved ones—
but now suddenly, by examining the negative-space which surrounds our lives by deliberately engaging in the activity of doing nothing, everything may suddenly appear as if all the stuff of our lives was only used to ward away pain and consume pleasure—that all we’ve been trying to do whether we knew it or not, was to forget about death and neglect looking at ourselves out of a fear for everything we’d actually have to face and see.
It can be very disappointing to recognize all the ways we’ve been fooling ourselves about life, and how our entire society and culture aims to assist us to do so; enabling us to do something else, rather than doing what it is we are doing exactly at this moment. It can be very disappointing to see the billions upon billions of potential distractions in a single-instant, to see that somethings have been solely invented to distract us from the chance moments of finding ourselves desiring to waste-time. It can be very disappointing to see our habits to disengage from the immediacy of our experience to remain within the norms of social standards attached to the significance of time.
We’ve been told the importance of hard work and have been measuring our self-worth in comparison to the status-quo, and suddenly we find ourselves finding the value in doing nothing, and in so doing, to make a commitment to ourselves to not continue our days without setting aside allotted time for doing nothing everyday. Then suddenly we see how we’ve been going about our lives, up until now, as having been generated from a false sense of time and a false sense of personal ideas and ideals about reality, about what is.
Although we can discover relief in experiencing the known fact of our potential transformation, we also can discover the disappointment of everything in our lives that does not point us towards our own aloneness, and being with ourselves, just as we are in the immediacy of a moment.
It is extremely disappointing to see how our culture and society values nothing to do with aloneness. In general our society fears aloneness and nothing in consumer mythos even comes close to acknowledging it. It is counter to the manifest characteristics of trauma, both in ourselves and in the outer consumer world to mention aloneness, because that would mean we would be able to think for ourselves, and we would be able to navigate through layers of illusive tendencies both in ourselves and what the world says, both consciously and unconsciously, which would be indicative of having exhausted the possibility of no longer buying our own or the collective’s lies.
To experience disappointment is to experience the beginning of genuine acceptance. There is zero genuine acceptance without first experiencing the depths of disappointment in our psyches. Acceptance is the aftermath of having experienced disappointment, and going through the stages of grief in order to finally experience a sense of relief, relaxation, okayness with reality just as it is.
We’ve told ourselves lies, some consciously some unconsciously. Our families have told us lies, some consciously some unconsciously. Society and consumer culture has told us lies, consciously and unconsciously. The illusions of the discourse of how the imprints of trauma and their manifesting characteristics function in our psychology: ignorance, positivism, and aggression, can be very illuminating to recognize in how we’ve played into our own warding away for direct experience, but also penetratingly disappointing upon the foreground of experiencing the reality of what is immediately going on, just as it is, and our corresponding multitude of habits for distorting the constant negative-space surrounding our lives.
We’re acknowledging disappointment.
Disappointment is hard to look at.
Now to feel it, and let it in, is to simultaneously make room for the potential of the end of disappointment; acceptance of what is. The acceptance of what is, is the acknowledgement of what is real and what we cannot change, with a basic sense of relief, that we are no longer fooling ourselves about what we want and what we wish. This kind acceptance is not a submission of will, but a transformation of having experienced disappointment as an involvement of grief. Having grieved we naturally perk up and look forward to what may arise next.
By tuning into the negative-space which surrounds our lives, one of the first recognitions we might encounter is the disappointment of everything our lives have been trying to do, to ward off looking from the eyes of doing nothing. It can be, at first, heart-breaking, but at the same time we can recognize, we are no longer fooling ourselves.
We will die.
Everyone we know will die.
You reading this will die.
Your relationship to your life is personal and intimate, and your journey with being with yourself in recognizing the negative-space which surrounds your life, our lives, and all of life, is and also will be intimate.
We can’t bring along anything with us when we die. Not our loved ones, not our houses, not our bodies, not everything we worked for, not our struggles and not our successes, we can’t bring any of it with us, none of it.
It is all so disappointing.
But it is through experiencing the disappointment of having recognized our ways of warding away life and its reality of death, that we can begin to abide in life in a different way. Now, appreciation can naturally arise. Appreciation for our lives, for the subtleties of moments between ourselves and our environments, daily interactions, and connection with the world. Appreciation naturally arises as the result of having recognized the futility in ourselves for trying so hard to block pain and consume pleasure. Things are just what they are, and one day we will be dead, and so naturally, it arises in us to deliberately acknowledge what is happening around us, to, without indulgence, enjoy the things around us, and to naturally express the gratitude for the time we have while we are doing the things we do.
As we examine the disappointment which surrounds our lives, internally and externally, we enter into an unfolding experience of grief. Grief leads us to the freedom from inaccurate thinking, false ideals, and clarifications for motivation, and provides us refined simple ways of seeing our lives, and life, and how to accomplish tasks with more efficiency, while in the awareness of appreciation.
Appreciative-awareness allows us to move more freely with the challenges of our daily, immediate moments.
Doing nothing, may now become that much more simpler to do, that much more imperative to our wellbeing, that much more necessary to the functionality of not fooling ourselves about reality, and the noise which surrounds our lives, and has become that much more motivational for engaging on a daily basis.
When we are just as we are exactly where we are with whatever it is we are experiencing, we are practicing what it will be to die, and in so doing, we are practicing how to appreciate being alive.
Truth In Human Experience #5 The Necessity For Discovering Daily Allotted Time For Abandoning Attachment To Identity: Letting Go
By engaging in not doing any other activity other than directly and precisely tuning into experiencing what it is we are experiencing in this exact moment, we aren’t engaging in any other activity.
By allotting time everyday to simply not engage in any other activity other than engaging in the activity of experiencing what we are experiencing exactly as we are experiencing, we are also not engaging any other activity.
During the time we are only experiencing ourselves as we are experiencing ourselves, our relationship to the other activities that we are not doing during that allotted time, changes. By not engaging in the activities that we would usually engage in at the time when we are only experiencing ourselves as what it is we are doing, our relationship to whatever else we would be doing changes, because, by experiencing ourselves just as we are experiencing ourselves, we are not putting energy into enabling activity, as behavior, and by not doing so, our relationship to whatever other activity we would be doing changes, because, we gain the opportunity of looking and seeing our habits, tendencies, thoughts, and feelings, and all our mind-stuff that surrounds our connection to whatever else we would usually be doing; and by being with ourselves without acting out towards the identified activity of our usual routine, and by not suppressing our desire to ward off or pretend that we don’t prefer or don’t identify with what we would usually be doing, we can see in the immediacy of the moment that what we are considering to do, other than what we are doing, is only a thought.
We find ourselves thinking about what it is we would be doing instead of simply doing what we are currently doing, which is being with our experience just as it is and not engaging in any other activity. While we experience ourselves experiencing ourselves wanting to do something other than what we are doing now, we learn to deal with not having an immediate moment of actively fulfilling our instant desire, and this causes our relationship to ourselves and to our things to change. It causes our relationship to ourselves and to the things in our lives to change because we recognize in the immediacy of our experience that we are merely thinking about what we would be doing, and while we are not engaging what would desire to do, (what we usually would be doing), we find ourselves thinking about it, and thinking about it is different than actually doing it. Noticing we are thinking about, instead of acting on it, is the basis for our relationship to ourselves and the objects of our lives to transform. We are able to see the difference between being where we presently are, not doing anything other than just being with our own experience, and thinking about something, and thinking about something as different than the thing itself we are thinking about.
1) There is being immediately where we are.
2) There is thinking about something else or being elsewhere.
3) There is that thing or elsewhere that is outside of us, that is only what it is, and not what we actually think about it.
By experiencing the recognition of these differences in our experience as we are experiencing ourselves and not engaging in any other activity during these recognitions, our relationships to ourselves and our external world changes. As we make a daily habit of being with ourselves just as we are for an allotted amount of time, we develop our ability to deal with life, we open ourselves to the opportunity of experiencing unconscious layers of trauma, and we begin to make a transformation in our relationship to ourselves and to the things in our life; all of which is learning to abandon identity attachment.
It’s not identity we are abandoning, it’s our attachment to our identity that we are learning to abandon by experiencing ourselves experience ourselves. Our attachment is for the most part unconscious. It is that, attachment to our identities which is an unconsciousness of ourselves, that reifies itself in the face of our activities and behaviors; and our activities and behaviors, are for the most part, generated from the absence of having not examined, looked at, self-reflected upon the negative space surrounding our lives.
Everything in our lives that we use to fulfill the concept of what it is to have a life, to maintain a sense of fitting-in and remaining within the prescribed norms of our lives, is an attitude based in an attempt to not look at the immediacy of the negative space which surrounds our lives in each and every instant of being alive.
As long as we perpetuate the psychological attitudes of finding relief in behaviors which correspond to fulfilling the concept of what it is to have a life through activities of familiar comfort, our ability to deal with life can’t expand, our distinctions between our experience and our thinking remains blurry, and the things which surround our lives remain in a heightened state of self-value, so much so, it would be impossible in many cases to even imagine what our lives would be like without certain things, routines, or activities.
To learn to abandon our attachments to our identities, is to learn to experience ourselves just as we are experiencing ourselves without needing to do anything else. Our ability to deal with life expands, and we become more satisfied without the need to attach the meaning of ourselves to the immediacy of activities that are not currently in the instant of the moment. Slowly through time, through engagement of daily allotted time to experience ourselves just as we are, our relationship to all things changes, and our attachment to our identity changes.
Sooner or later, like a natural process, we no longer want to dismiss our lives to the noise of routines that fulfill only a concept of self-worth and self-belonging in this world of social-norms, no longer do we want to do activities and engage in behaviors that only reify our psychological attachments to things, cutting us off from possibilities of connecting and openness with ourselves and with others and the things and people of our lives.
More and more as time goes on, as we stick with a routine of daily experiencing ourselves just as we are experiencing ourselves, we find ourselves more and more curious about the possibilities of our own potential free from reifying attachment patterns, habits, and tendencies, and we make room to experience further layers of unconscious psychosomatic conditioned cellular energetic flow and tension attached familiarity for healing and transformation.
We naturally become more hungry for our own transformation, for experiencing the release of tension in the body, we naturally become interested in how we have learned false attitudes and false ways of being, in order to experience a sense of surrender, a sense of relief, and a sense of letting go.
Through slowing down and engaging ourselves in a very direct mode of looking and feeling our experience just as it is as it is occurring, we open ourselves up to the potential for a profound shift in the conditioned flow of energetic patterns in our psychosomatic system. Conditioned cellular response can transform, and its tension attached enabling condition/s can change, and when they do from a deliberation of not acting out into behaviors nor suppressing the desire to fulfill behaviors, but experiencing ourselves for what we are experiencing, cellular functional conditioning alters to accommodate new responses to energy input-output, and when it does, it can release stored tension, and when this occurs we experience this as letting go.
Letting go isn’t something we can do, it’s something that happens to us. Our cellular conditioned reactivities change when we are simply being with ourselves, because the information feed of familiar input-output signals doesn’t become fulfilled in our behavioral engagement. By not engaging ourselves in fulfilling unconscious signals of cellular familiarization, stored tension in the body not only releases, but also the unconscious attachment to identity we had in the fulfillment of bodily triggered activities becomes exhausted, when this occurs we experience letting go.
Finally the collapse of holding onto ourselves. Everything can surrender. We can uncontrollably weep.
We can uncontrollably weep.
Letting go can finally happen. We don’t have to hold onto ourselves anymore, we don’t have to endure and take-on and shove our way through life, we don’t have to pretend and suck-up and bare it all on ourselves and carry ourselves through every circumstance without ever taking a break, we don’t have to beat ourselves up at every turn, tell ourselves negative things, shame ourselves into fitting-in. We do not. Finally letting go can happen, when we slow down and look at the negative space surrounding our lives, and when we do, whether we know it or not, we are abandoning attachment to our identities, and identifying ourselves through the means of abandoning the attachment of ourselves in identifying the value and corresponding behavior: to only experience ourselves as we are experiencing ourselves for the complete duration of the time we’ve set aside to do so.
Our identities have to become attached to the value and the daily engagement of doing nothing as different than doing anything else, for the possibility of all identity attachment to one day become absolutely abandoned. In order for profound transformation to become real in ourselves, we have to, through time, experience within ourselves the value and the need to engage in a daily way of not doing anything other than experiencing ourselves just as we are, and in so doing we make a new unconscious attachment to identity, but this time instead of our unconscious attachment to identity as linked towards reifying its existence, we have to make a new connection to the vitality and importance in not reifying our existence; in order to do that, we have to over time, learn to trick ourselves out of the comforts of what we’d prefer to do, and develop a sense of routine around our daily allotted time of doing nothing other than experiencing ourselves just as we are.
The new daily allotted time is indicative of a shift in the attachment to our identities, and this shift is a new attachment, but this time the contents of attachment isn’t towards fulfilling the functions of our identities, but rather, the contents of attachment are from having clearly identified the value in engaging in such a way, and from having found in our experience, a realized desire to become further free from identity attachment.
Our identities have to realize the vital and immediate importance of experiencing letting go from attachment to our identities, the experiential birth of true aloneness, the basis for profound letting go.
Truth In Human Experience #6
Experiencing Ourselves Experience Ourselves Is Taking Complete Responsibility For Our Lives In The Immediate Moment: Developing Trustworthy Friendship To Ourselves
If we do indeed decide to stick to a routine of daily connecting to our immediate experience, not only does our relationship to the external world and to people change, but our relationship to ourselves changes as well.
Most of the time we may perceive our lives as something of an external-self-existing-world outside of ourselves that we participate in, but when we begin to focus on the immediacy of our experience as it is occurring now, we begin to redirect our sense, our stance, on what constitutes our lives within the realities of the external world; and we do so not by making any effort towards re-constituting our point of view on what constitutes our lives, but simply by engaging ourselves in being with our experience as it is one moment at a time as indicative of our allotted time to do so, we inhabit a re-constitutional point of view on life.
By being with the immediacy of our experience, whether we recognize it or not, we actually are taking immediate responsibility for our lives; and throughout the duration of our allotted time of experiencing ourselves just as we are, we are not dependent upon any external reference-point except of only what we think about the external-world. What this implies is that, by experiencing ourselves being with our experience just as it is, we are renouncing the need to depend upon any other immediate point of referentiality, except for what is immediately occurring within our experience, (which as we may notice immediately changes i.e. one thought leads to another), enabling a complete activity for taking responsibility for ourselves, which simply put, is a friendly thing to do.
We are taking responsibility for ourselves by simply doing nothing other than doing what it is to not be doing any other activity, but experiencing ourselves just as we are experiencing ourselves in the immediacy of doing that, and since there is no other immediate object of attention in our field of awareness but the immediacy of our experience and just what it is, we are confronted with options of seeing ourselves as we are simply as we are experiencing ourselves, which is an act of not being confused by what it is we are seeing in our immediate experience. Our options, for what we may immediately apprehend about how we are being with ourselves when we are experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, are one of two things either
1) we are not actually allowing ourselves to experience ourselves just as we are, and we are too fascinated by our thinking and fantasies, too pre-occupied, too distracted,
2) we are actually allowing ourselves to experience ourselves as we are, immediately as we are, by intentionally attending to our immediate experience, i.e. feeling our body connected to where it is, noticing we are breathing, noticing our thoughts and emotions, noticing tendencies, patterns, and habits associated with preferences of behavior and activity.
As we simply are experiencing ourselves as we are experiencing ourselves, we are by happenstance taking immediate responsibility for our lives because we are not distracted by any other activity, which is a friendly thing to do. We simply are exactly where we are and we’re going to be exactly where we are until our allotted time of only experiencing ourselves experience ourselves is finished; complete responsibility. Once our allotted time is finished, who knows where we might be or where we might find ourselves. Life could again pick up into the momentum of warding off pain and accumulating pleasure, but before that happens, as we are simply being with our experience, exactly and precisely as it is, we are not perpetuating the behaviors and activities associated with our preferences, and therefore, by the degree to which we are simply experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, whether we like it or not, we are taking full responsibility for our lives, which is a completely friendly thing to do.
It’s a friendly thing by happenstance of being with ourselves experience ourselves as we are experiencing ourselves as an act of responsibility for ourselves, because, in the gestural behavior of not doing any other activity, except the activity of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, we are expressing integrity with ourselves, for staying with our decision to do so, which is an expression of respect towards remaining with the activity of not doing any other activity, except the activity of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, which is an act of respect for our decision and engagement in this way, for the time allotted to do so, which is similar to behaving as a reliable friend; but this time, we are a reliable friend for ourselves.
It’s very naked in our awareness to take complete responsibility for ourselves, right on the spot, when a desire arises in our thoughts to be doing something else, or to experience ourselves fantasizing about something which has nothing to do with the immediacy of experiencing the moment, the immediacy for experiencing.
It may feel painful to learn so much about ourselves, stuff we didn’t even really know was there, or stuff we really didn’t want to admit to ourselves about ourselves and what we actually think about things and life, but when we do, when we do experience the nakedness of our own true experience of ourselves, we are taking responsibility for ourselves, just for how things are, and just for how we are—whether we’re comfortable or uncomfortable with what we learn and see about ourselves—by in so doing so, we also become friends with who we really are exactly as a moment of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves presents itself; there is zero hiding i.e. if we experience ourselves day-dream, we experience the reality of our state-of-mind day-dreaming.
Up until now we’ve been friends with ourselves as people substantialized by an absorption based upon referentially relying on the norms of our daily moments to dictate the sense of security we have with ourselves and the world around us, as indicative of our limitations in dealing with life, and allowing the 3 manifestations of trauma: ignorance, positivity (clinging/grasping), and aggression to run our connection with all things.
But, more and more, as we simply experience being with ourselves exactly as we are, more and more our sense of friendship to ourselves transforms, and we come naturally inquisitive towards our own psychological healing possibilities. Through time, we are able to learn to distinguish between our thoughts, what thoughts are and what thinking is, and what it is to be with ourselves just as we are, just as we see ourselves think. That indeed there is a difference between thinking and noticing thoughts occurring in our experience, and when we begin to, through time, make the distinction between just thinking about something, and actually being with our experience as it is with thoughts-feelings happening but without actually feeling-thinking about anything particular. Such awareness about these distinctions in our experience of experiencing ourselves just as we are in the immediacy of a moment, provides the ground for developing a sense of trust towards ourselves, and trust is the foundation for any long-lasting, genuine, friendship.
Developing trust towards our experience is different than developing trust towards watching a TV show we like to watch. When watching a TV show, ongoingly, we don’t necessarily have to develop any trust towards the show. All the characters are reliable, the writer of the style of the show remains consistent and all we have to do is watch it. But, developing trust towards ourselves requires us to actually notice what is occurring in the immediacy of our experience, which is as simple as watching a TV show, and just as effortless. The only thing is, we actually have to make time to sit down and watch the TV show of our experience, just like we have to sit down and make time to watch the TV show of TV; now this time we might become confused by what to expect about what we are watching as we are experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, because getting to know ourselves in this way of engagement can be very revealing.
And when we are watching the TV show of our experience, noticing what are noticing as it is occurring in the immediacy of our experience and doing nothing else at that time, (which isn’t a TV show), whether we know it or not, we are developing trust towards ourselves, for just being there, for just being there with ourselves and not doing any other activity; we are getting to know ourselves just as we would get to know a new friend.
Developing trust towards ourselves isn’t something you go do like developing our muscles at the gym and actually build muscle-mass, rather, developing trust is the byproduct of simply experiencing what we are experiencing when we are experiencing it, within the time we’ve allotted ourselves to engage in the non-activity of this activity; and allotting time to ourselves to being with ourselves engaged in experiencing ourselves as experiencing ourselves, indeed is like allotting time to do anything else, and the limits of our brain-muscle-mass, our neuroplasticity, for dealing with ourselves and with life expands.
Developing trust towards ourselves happens as byproduct of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves because we simply learn about ourselves during the time we set aside to do so, (which is also developing and using the neuroplasticity of our brain, but as a different function than what we usually associate using neuroplasticity functionality with, like learning to play an instrument); and in so learning about ourselves, like learning about nuances of behavior and sensitivities of our friends, (using our neuroplasticity in this way), we are able to more clearly see ourselves and understand ourselves, and therefore we become less and less self-deluded about our own tendencies and our own ways of experiencing, all of which provides a further sense of personal okayness with ourselves and having honest expectations on our limits with dealing with life and dealing with ourselves.
Becoming friends with ourselves through the medium of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves everyday, is no small task. It does imply that we are turning away from how we’ve perceived ourselves in connection to external reference points and making a new connection towards ourselves as the basis for connecting to the external world.
As our associational behavior/s with our objects change/s as a result of continuously making friends with ourselves, on a daily basis, by experiencing ourselves experience ourselves just as we are, we open ourselves up to the possibility of relating to the world in a different way, (in a way we’ve never have yet to experience as known in our personal history), and in so doing our connection with how we were engaging our lives before we began to consciously make time to experience ourselves as we are experience ourselves, changes, and how it changes reflects the degree to which we actually are trusting the immediacy of our experience, (trusting ourselves), something which only you can measure, something which only you can or cannot fool yourself about.
Only you know how honest you are in your experience with experiencing yourself or not, and no one else, only you can make the distinction between whether you are actually experiencing the reality of your immediate experience or whether your distracted and preoccupied with not following through with your own desire to be with yourself just as you are, and experiencing yourself experience yourself in the time you’ve allotted to do so.
However, at times due to our own confusion about whether we are actually with ourselves or not, as the result of identifying the manifestation of the trauma of ignoranc in our experience by being with our experience and watching ourselves experience confusion in these ways, it becomes helpful to find a friend who is engaging his or her life in a similar way, at which point, when such an inclination naturally arises, it is indicative of the change you are experiencing towards yourself, as becoming more and more of a friend to yourself, and when this occurs, it is an expression of genuinely trusting the friendship of yourself.
Truth In Human Experience #7
The Insubstantiality Of Causes and Conditions Both Internally & Externally: Relying On Experiencing Ourselves Experience Ourselves As The Method For Not Perpetuating Lies.
As we learn to experience ourselves as we experience ourselves and relate to experiencing ourselves experience ourselves as not doing any other activity, as a kind of doing nothing, doing nothing as a difference from doing anything else, and as we become familiar with ourselves doing nothing as the activity of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves and as we are becoming familiar experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, our relationship to ourselves changes, and our relationship to the outer world changes as well.
What one time served us, both
internally, as mental-constructs of self-imposed concepts or concepts ingrained through the reiteration of society, social-structures, and family—of ideas about ourselves, ideas about the world, ideas about anything and everything and
externally, as associating ourselves with certain people, places, things, and activities
begins to no longer serve us, but become obstacles to the journey of becoming genuine, trustworthy friends to ourselves—we through time
by experiencing ourselves experience ourselves everyday through our, allotted time to do so, in the exact moment of when we do so—we, by happenstance of intentionality, engage ourselves directly and real, in terms of truly witnessing what it is to witness ourselves breathe, think and feel, sensationalize, fantasize, remember, and anything and everything else we find ourselves experiencing as being alive.
as we develop this kind of relationship to ourselves, our relationship/s to the outside world begin to change, and things appear in our perceptions as either being helpful or not helpful, in terms of whether people, places, things, and activities as associated with, are becoming obstacles to our wellbeing or not.
Inevitably as we relate to ourselves ongoingly as making friends with ourselves through experiencing ourselves experience ourselves experience what it is we are experiencing exactly in the immediate moment of doing so, as, within the allotted time we designated to do so, during exact moments of doing so—we find the external world as reinforced by make-believe realities that are not directly concerned with human welfare or the welfare of reality as it really is, and so we find, the reinforcement of the make-believability of our world, less and less appealing, and less and less convincing.
Vacations can begin to sound like nightmares. Living in suburbia can sound like a hell dictated by the prescriptions of normal American standards. The status quo begins to sound like a hoax, a profound lie, that everyone seems to be wrapped into thinking is true, just like the Stock market in how it consumes the attention of so many people’s lives. So on and so on and so on. We simply begin to see LIES everywhere.
LIES of what it is be human LIES of what it is to treat others LIES of what it is to treat the earth LIES of consumerism LIES of political sides LIES of religion LIES of school LIES on television LIES LIES LIES lies in our family history LIES in our relationships LIES in our country LIES in our own conditioned psyche as psychological programming downloaded from our up-bringing LIES
We begin to see LIES everywhere, and paradoxically, when we do actually see the reality of lies everywhere through the immediacy of experiencing ourselves experience experience, it is an indicator that we are becoming friends with ourselves in a genuine way—and less imprisoned by the suffocation of our own delusional-thinking about reality. A release of trauma in the storage of our neurology simultaneously releases, and as an expression of coming to recognize the lies surrounding reality, we may begin to feel angry in ways we may never have ever thought or known was possible—and again, simultaneously to whatever our reactivity maybe towards recognizing the lies which surround reality for the first time, we are also embracing the truth of what we observe ourselves experience in our experience, as profoundly legitimate, and in so doing so, we are becoming friends with ourselves; we are trusting our experience.
By experiencing what we are immediately experiencing as set-aside to do so, we are becoming honest about what is actually happening in our experience, immediately now, and in so doing, we are, whether we realize it or not, taking full responsibility for ourselves by not looking outside of ourselves for any self-reifying conceptual-identifiable reference points, but instead, by remaining true to seeing what it is we are seeing as we are experiencing ourselves experience—we are being friends with ourselves immediately, now.
We are becoming honest. We are becoming honest people when we are experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, exactly, immediately in the moment and not being anywhere else, we are being honest with what it is we are actually experiencing, intimate even—and everything that we see that we don’t like about ourselves, becomes simply, an act of being honest about the harder facts of ourselves that we have a hard time with, and in so doing, because we are being intimate and honest with ourselves, our ability to deal with life expands, our relationships to the external world changes, and we are becoming clean of denial and potential tendencies for perpetuating false lies about ourselves and the world around us.
Lies are conditioned on the pretense of half-truths, that are arguably good ideas as whole-truths; most things consumerism sells us are made of good ideas, because they are for the benefit of the consumer/client, but if we take a closer look at the commercial which promotes these good ideas, (by the way, as the cliché goes: “hell was paved with good intentions,”) we don’t see anything human about it all, in fact, we can’t know for certain whether the CEO of any major corporation actually cares about anybody, other than how to stay in the game, and keep the big-times rolling.
Now we don’t know for sure, and we don’t need to know, (unless you are a farmer who is dealing with lawsuits from Monsanto for allegedly stealing genetically modified soy-bean seeds by an incident of natural wind blowing those seeds onto your property—then perhaps, you’d want to know whether the CEO actually cares about anything at all), but in general, we don’t need to depend on whether things are free or not, to consider whether there is any human integrity in such an exchange, but what matters more than the immediate lies of our consumerist environments, is the lie of realities which are so identified with their conditions, they can’t easily become free.
Realities of this type are more substantial lies, they are lies that are, at first, harder to identify in our experiences, they are more subtle by nature, and harder to identify in the world around us. Like the lies which keep our identities attached as defined as identities, neurologically insistent and psychological reifying.
The attachments which keep our identities in place are indeed lies, harder at first to identify, but as time goes on and we stay true everyday to our daily allotted time for experiencing ourselves just as we are experiencing ourselves, more and more, like a natural progression of trusting the recognition/s of our experience, we simply don’t buy into the impulses which generate us so much moment-by-moment confusion—and in so doing, the energetic attachments, as stored in the cellular compounds of our body, lose hold, and we experience a release of energy, as an experiencing of healing unconsciously held trauma of energetic-attachments that keep our neurology convincingly rigid—our identities convincibly solid:
I AM ME—can release, and open, surrender, and dissolve—and while the lies, the attachments to our identity/s can become relinquished, our sense of identity itself, as a byproduct of such release simply learns how to be more honest and accurate, with more conscious-awareness, on how to be friendly
the conditions of our neurology, right at this moment, exactly at this moment, are the result of our reiteration of behaviors which serve us, and it has been through a continual reiteration of either the same or similar behaviors as stimulated by our neurology, (we feel hungry for a late-night snack, we eat a bowl of cereal, etcetera), which have developed our present neurological condition and behavioral associational points of sensitivity (identity-attachment) as our current feedback loop. The loop itself is malleable for change, it isn’t fixed, by nature it is flexible and elastic, it can soften, and un-harden, and can dilate in ways we don’t necessarily foresee; we can learn new activities.
When we offer ourselves the opportunity to experience ourselves just as we are experiencing ourselves, we provide ourselves the chance for developing new neurological pathways associated with the behavior of doing no other activity other than experience ourselves as we are experiencing ourselves, during our allotted time for doing so.
As the neurological receptors in our psychosomatic dynamic changes through no other activity other than experiencing ourselves as we are experiencing ourselves, we also open ourselves to the potential of profound healing experiences, where stored-energy has the opportunity to release, and where identity based behaviors associated with neurological stimulus can release, identity-attachments can relinquish, and we can develop new associations with new behaviors of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, as a form for not acting out into neurologically associated impulse-behaviors or suppressing them.
Instead of grabbing that bowl of cereal when we feel hungry during experiencing ourselves experience hunger, we just feel hungry, and in so doing so, by not feeding ourselves a bowl of cereal when there is an instant demand in our body to do so, we are providing ourselves the opportunity for new neurological pathways of associated behavioral response in relation with not giving ourselves instant gratification; our sense of identity expands, and we are able to have a higher tolerance level in our experience with ourselves, and therefore more able to relate to life, just as it is.
As we develop new neuropath ways our own neurological locked up energy, in our experience, becomes accessibly unlocked and can begin to move and flow in ways, we had not yet previously experienced, simultaneously to that, so too, do our perceptions and psychological attachments to our identity begin to change—and in, and through this process with ourselves, daily experiencing ourselves as we are experiencing ourselves, and experiencing inner-change occur through becoming more intimate with our own, immediate, experience, and friendly towards our own sense of self, we are in fact taking complete responsibility for our lives right on the spot—and in so doing, what can become nearly, as instantaneously clear, is how, so much of the world, as we have come to know it, understand it, believe it, see it as presented to be, is, not doing that—is not
taking responsibility for itself, is unaware—and an expression of the manifestation of the trauma of ignorance—presenting realities to reality that are reactionary, not conscious, and as a result are half-truths, and complete lies.
(There is a strange implication in all this, that, somewhere someone outside of us didn’t take responsibility for experiencing their own immediate experience as an opportunity to grow and evolve, and by having not done so, following through with their own ideas of reality they provided us, humans, with realities that simply do not benefit anybody, but the individuals who carried out their own ideas to realize dreamed material accomplishments—and now everybody else must find a way to attend to and relate to the realities people who did not develop friendliness towards themselves substantialized into the norms of our daily lives).
The most profound consequence that can come from experiencing ourselves experiencing ourselves in an ongoing way through the allotted time we set aside to do so, is the dismantling of our current sense of ME, and a realignment with a true sense of being nobody particularly but an expression of complete awareness with identity as a piece of clothing our awareness wears.
This kind of wholesomeness is simply the result of having developed trustworthy friendliness towards our immediate experience exactly as we are experiencing ourselves on the spot, again, and again, and again. We simply evolve ourselves, through the dismantling process to the attachment to our identities, that we simply are left with the necessity of relating to ourselves as expressions of space, where nothing in the immediacy of our experience is solid, and everything around us becomes an reflection of our inner-fluidity of experience.
We simply are identifying ourselves as awareness with an expression of awareness, (our bodies), that is indicative of no further attachments to identity itself, which implies our neurological path-ways are completely unknotted, and free-running agents of energy. Our psychology becomes malleable and we recognize how to overthrow our psychological-orientation when it becomes too attached to a state of energetic dependency. Our actions and psychosomatic activity simply become an expressions of awareness and our identity is simply that, our identity.
For many of us, as each day unfolds into the next, we are more than ever beginning to truly see the transparency of the multitude and complexity of the lies that surround our lives, and more and more, we are not buying into what we used to think, and what we used to perceive as helpful, safe, and familiar.
As a result of the factual destruction of the environment, the upsurge of primitive-terrorist violence, the dictatorship of corporate control, the gap between high-class and low-class, divorce, the disintegration of the family-unit, the manipulative means of consumeristic vampirism into the human-psyche, and the human being at large—from pornography and the exploitation of romance between partners, to the absurdity of relying on gasoline coupled with our cost-of-living—as a result of such things, human experience, on a large scale is opening up to new correlations with reality, which is indicative of a space within human experience, inviting human-recognition and linguistic-possibilities and the human experience as a whole, to directly look within at what it is to even have an experience.
And as we do so, through our experience, we unlock the prisons of our own patternings around external conditions we play-a-part in, and we become disillusioned of becoming saved from death as promised in the energetic exchange of instant gratification, as indoctrinated by the spirit of consumerism. In fact, it goes deeper,
we can trace causes and conditions which have given rise to this moment in history, and see the unfolding of a complexity of past activities that have all comingled into this very moment. We can begin to see, that the conditions of reality itself are subject to profound change, and the ground from which the causation for the human-species to even exist—is subject to change through a multitude of potentialities—for what has occurred is finished and what will occur is a theory; we can see that the external world as a whole is simply, fundamentally insubstantial, and therefore ultimately unreliable—and so all we are left with
is our immediate experience when we are experiencing ourselves experience ourselves as when we’ve set aside time to do so—and relying on the information we learn from what our lives present to us in those moments of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, and to act accordingly with ourselves, objects, actions, places, and people, as we have discovered in our experience to reflect forward to the world—mirroring what we’ve learned from having experienced ourselves experience ourselves, from the found attitude of friendliness towards ourselves—and in so doing, by having witnessed the infinite varieties of faulty-integrity in our own experience, again and again, we can make the changes in our lives we feel necessary to make, and begin to live in a different way as an expression of human engagement with this world, in this world, with the world just as it is, but with less fulfilling its
murderous-spiraling-brainwash and with more empathy and respect and humor towards our own experience, the reality of impermanence, and the rest of the world and everything and everyone we know and can think of who is caught in it all, just as much as we are, or have been. And when we are slowly but surely not enabling or shutting-down activities, behaviors, and associational attachments to destruction and lies—but being with all of our experience just as it is, and not acting out or suppressing it, we find ourselves also, in the immediacy of the moment of identifying our own ingrained lies becoming simultaneously free from being affected in the same way previously we had by them, and at least temporarily, we have broken the prison
and by having done so, at least once, we can begin to make a method of actually being with ourselves when, as, we suffer.
As long as we remain true to:
1) setting aside time everyday to experience ourselves experiencing ourselves, remain in that mode of engagement for the amount of time we’ve allotted ourselves to do so
2) taking what we’ve learned from experiencing ourselves experience ourselves and applying it to our lives directly, possibly, immediately afterwards—and ongoingly
3) through the friendship with ourselves that we’ve cultivated in these ways, we are affiliating more with people, places, activities, and things which reflect our friendship with ourselves
we have found a profound method for being with suffering, absent of perpetuating its infinite manifestations of unnecessary violence, confusion, and lies.
Truth In Human Experience # 8
Experience Ourselves Experience Ourselves Right Now: Experiencing Ourselves Experience Ourselves Happens In The Now, We Cannot Escape The Now, By Putting Now Off We Are Wasting Our Lifetime.
Most of us aren’t experiencing ourselves experiencing ourselves at this exact moment, or are making time on a daily basis to do so. Our lives are full of stuff that reflect the life we want to live, and in so doing so, we are pursuing the necessary means towards fulfilling the dream of the life we want to live—but in so doing, we are neglecting immediately, now, what our lives are, just as they are, whether we like how they are or not; it’ like we’re on a treadmill, and we’re just going, and as we’re going, all this time is going by, and we don’t know when, or if, we’ll ever get off the treadmill, maybe perhaps, the treadmill will finally stop when we’re about to die; but that just becomes wishful thinking.
That’s the way most of us are living our lives.
But as the world is changing, the dreams of our lives begin to change as well, and what was one time considered realistic begins to appear less so; and as we age, and death appears closer, and our lives are full of the same stuff with the same reasons attached to it all: our actions, places, people, and stuff, that we identify with, can begin to feel less realistically important and vital to our well-being than we had originally foresaw happening. We become disillusioned about what is actually happening with our lives, and with reality, right now, right at this exact moment.
It is when we feel this quality of dissatisfaction in our lives, do we then become naturally interested in turning towards ourselves, as a potential gateway for finding out what we can do to address the appearing characteristics of our lives, both internally and externally, in a different way than we, up till now, had yet to do.
Stop right now.
Stop reading this, but before you do, do the following:
1) Turn away from the screen. Look, right now, at the corner where one wall meets another wall, and just stare at it, without moving your head or your eyes, (eye blinking is fine), but your eyes are open and gazing at the corner where one wall meets another.
2) Notice you are breathing, notice your body is touching the chair or ground it is sitting in/on, notice what it feels like to feel your body. Notice yourself breathing, notice the weight, and posture of your body. Do not move, just notice what it is, to not move.
3) Feel everything that is happening inside of you, notice all the thoughts that are swarming, or whatever they are doing.
4) Let go of thinking, and
experience yourself experience yourself, right now.
Do this right now for 5 minutes and do not return to this post until you’ve set your timer, and your time goes off; do this now.
5 minutes later:
The only different thing, really, is that we simply engaged ourselves in a different way than we had engaged ourselves previously up to this moment, and maybe for some of us, we just engaged ourselves in a way that we never had in our entire life.
By making this pause in our life, just like we did, and we make this pause for ourselves everyday for at least half-an-hour up to an hour everyday, we will change. The change that will happen to us, both internally and externally, has been mentioned in a previous post, and the motivation of this kind of change, must become self-evident.
It must become self-evident, that we need to make this change in our lives of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves on a daily basis for an allotted amount of time that we stick with, because we are not immortal, and we will, at one point or another have to, HAVE TO, face the reality of everything we are not facing about our lives. And when that moment comes, to the extent that we actually made friends with the truth of our experience, just as it is, will be to the extent that we are able to be at peace with experiencing the chaos of having zero control and zero ability to persuade the outcome of any unwanted activity of losing our lives.
We can learn right here, now, that we cannot negotiate with reality; and if we can learn to experience what it is we are experiencing, exactly, here, now, then we are developing the muscle for being able to experience any experience that we will find ourselves experiencing.
We have to be able to experience ourselves experience whatever it is that we are experiencing, in order to become genuine, trustworthy friends to ourselves; and by developing the muscle for experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, just as we are, we become strong people.
Start now with yourself, and the benefits will become self-evident. We must learn to yield to what is happening, whether we like it or not, we must learn to yield to the reality of what is occurring in our experience, in order to undermine needless suffering, attachment to what we think and to our identities, in order to make room to experience our experience just as it is; in order to make room for life, for just how life is and how life naturally moves and unfolds through us and in the world.
Experiencing ourselves experience ourselves undermines our ideas about ourselves and about our lives, because what we may experience has no limits, and can contradict everything we’ve ever known, thought, learned, or we’re told—experiencing ourselves experience ourselves can illuminate the lies of what it is to simply be alive, both in ourselves and what our consumer culture consistently, reinforcing tells us.
You are about to die, right now.
Where are you?
Where are you in your thoughts?
Are you upset you didn’t take that cruise?
Did the shutting away of your emotions in not dealing with your life, in any respect, truly help you?
Was clinging to all the activities of what define you, as you, and all the joy that you found in things you loved to do, actually, at all, really helpful to you, for being with yourself, for being with others, for being with life?
Or could you have made more room, to have been less distracted, to have been more with yourself, more with your discomfort, more with harder emotions, and what you felt too impatient to look at in yourself?
We can start now, to experience ourselves experience ourselves, or we can wait. But, if we decide to wait, when the time comes to experience ourselves experience ourselves, we make the decision to do so, in the present moment, and we make the decision to stick with doing so, in the present moment.
By not experiencing ourselves now, we will have to experience ourselves experience ourselves in the now, whenever it will be, but when it is the now of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, it is the now, because experience ourselves experience ourselves is not being put off for another time.
We will have to face now whether we like it or not, at some point, (and while there are a lot of things we can use to clutch onto, as a way of having some safety with us), when we face the now, especially when we don’t want to, we will, whether we like it or not, have to come to admitting what our experience actually is. And if we are in pain, we will have to feel how uncomfortable we are, how disappointed in ourselves and with life we are, how much regret we may have—and if we do not do so, if we do not experience the truth of our real experience about these things, and if we try at all cost to ward off the pain of the immediate moment, especially when we’re confronted with it, we will be profoundly misguiding ourselves and others. The denial in our experience will inevitably perpetuate and manifest outwardly traumas of ignorance, positivity (clinging/grasping), and aggression—and in so doing so, we will make the world a much more suspicious, unsafe, and or dangerous place for others—all because we didn’t make enough room in ourselves to actually experience what we actually experience.
We have thoughts and ideas and beliefs about not experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, we have attitudes, projections, and fears around not doing so—we feel aggression and un-fairness about it all. But if we let our guard down, and not take things so personally, and become open to ourselves and what we actually are experiencing, regardless of what we think about it, regardless of what the world told us about it, then we actually change, and we actually are being friendly towards ourselves and developing a friendly way for engaging the external world around us.
It’s not coincidence that when we embrace the darkest realities of ourselves, do we then begin to experience understanding and compassion for those who have not allowed themselves to experience their own darkness. It is through experiencing ourselves experience the darkest realities of ourselves, are we then by happenstance, making that much room for ourselves, for our experience, (and by not acting out and by not suppressing our experience), are we then, actually loving ourselves.
The more room we can make to experience ourselves experience ourselves without acting out or suppressing our experience, (which is a very friendly thing to do for ourselves), the more we are actually loving ourselves, and the more understanding and compassion we may gain into the experience of others and the world at large.
With such friendliness towards ourselves, by experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, we are also able to be availably more friendly towards others around us. We can actually be able to be with our lives in a different way.
Experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, on a daily basis, during the time we’ve allotted ourselves to do so, must become self-evidently valuable, and once it does our lives can radically transform—and until it does
we are still caught up in ideas about ourselves and the world, about beliefs, and isms of all type—about what to ward off and what to cultivate.
Once you begin to actually experience yourself experience your experience without a book in hand, with the computer in front of your face, without a reason to justify anything at all, then
you can never go back.
Truth In Human Experience #9 Clarifying Realistic Expectations For Being Human: Recognizing We Are Life Itself In Human Form
Life, at a base level, is doing whatever it can to survive. It moves towards sunlight, and gathers nutrients, and is part of an environment.
Many people want to have children, they feel a need, or a calling to raise a family. Many people, also, do not feel such a need, but feel a need or a calling in life that is different than that.
Yet no matter what, life is drawn towards discovering and fulfilling, growing and living.
Since we humans have the able to self-recognize, have language, have the ability to imagine, and the ability to play, we naturally long in life for things to evolve or somehow become better than what they currently are.
We humans have desire towards life and towards our own life journeys. These feelings within us, humans, are feelings that also correspond with desire for freedom.
There are many types of freedom: social freedom, psychological freedom, freedom from an immediate circumstance, freedom from a multitude of continuous burdens, inner-personal freedom, political freedom, systematic freedom, freedom from limitations, freedom from hardships, challenges, freedom from suffering, and more.
There is something in us humans that longs for freedom or for life itself, which parallels the trajectory of all of life’s motivation to live, reach for sunlight, gather nutrients, be a part of the environment.
But what does this truly mean?
Every single theoretical system ever invented has either overtly, or by happenstance, tried to, or attempt to, answer this question. Theories, are orientations of thought, which help align our human self-reflective, linguistic, and imaginative capabilities to a point of view. Points of view are helpful, in that, our human capacity requires a bit of focus in order to help healthy, developmental growth to occur.
Orientations of thought, are relative truths, and they are occurring all the time, whether they’ve been clarified as systems of thinking or not. Any system of thought, helping to focus human engagement, can be anything, it is made up, as a mechanism for understanding and making sense of relative experience. These systems of thought, or thought orientations, are happening all the time, and correspond to cultural realities, and are sociological, at large.
There is nothing wrong with us humans for needing a point of view on reality to help us focus our engagement with life and our desires for freedom, the only real problem is when these points of view are drastically not realistic for what it is to be human. Without clear expectations on what it is to be human, it is impossible to have a point of view that aligns our engagement for being alive with the rest of life.
At this moment in our time and era, at this very moment, in general, our expectations on what it is to be human are simply not realistic because they are simply not clarified.
If we never told our child not to close his or her mouth when chewing food, he or she would continue to chew food with an open mouth, and if we became angry at the child for not being socially polite, or, for not having awareness on social etiquette, then it is our fault that we didn’t clarify the social expectations, for the child, on what it is to eat food together.
In a large way, today, we humans are intensely confused on what it is to be human, because in general, our social systems of thought, have unclarified expectations on what it is to be human, what it is to be alive.
Regardless, in our humanity, we have a desire for freedom, and this desire, our human desire, becomes channeled, filtered, or aligned with the point of view we have in relation to our group, social orientation. If our systems of thought, our point of view/s, are a bit off from containing or addressing realistic expectations on what it is to be human, to be alive, then our developmental growth as people, as well as our orientation towards desire at large, will also be a bit off due, and the inverse is true as well.
The problems implied here are tremendous.
We don’t see trees trying to be something they are not. Nor do we see sunlight trying to illuminate the entire universe.
But with us humans, in general, our systems of thought are not aligned with realistic expectations of being human, and therefor, the tendency in us, humans, is to be something we are not, or to try to inhabit a human possibility that is not realistic.
We struggle with ideas of perfection. We struggle with ideas of what it is to be good. We struggle with ideas of what it is to be in relationship. We struggle with ideas of being alive. These ways of struggling are indicative of simply not having a realistic point of view of what it is to be alive, what it is to desire, as a force of life within us towards evolving and being an agent of life. We humans, in general, struggle with being human because our expectations on what it is to be human are not clarified, our system/s of thought are not aligned with what it is to be.
Cataclysms happen in life. Volcanoes explode, an ice-age happens, a comet slams into the earth, tsunamis occur, poles shift, infestations of bacteria over ride environments, parasites devour their hosts, droughts starve out life, wild-fires devastate whole regions, etcetera.
We humans are not immune to the turmoil of devastation, both in our own personal lives, and in life at large. Therefore, a realistic expectation on what it is to be human, must include a sense of our vulnerability in connection to our environment and our lives; but through the guise of industrial-agriculture, we’ve basically destroyed the reality of four season and replaced it them with twenty-four hour grocery stores, so it makes sense that our expectations on what it is to be human are also off. But, when we acknowledge unexpected shifts can happen in our lives, and that what we have today can be gone tomorrow, that both our lives and the lives of others we care about can simply be over without warning, we are including in our point of view of being human a realistic expectation on impermanence.
How we approach impermanence, how we behave with impermanence can also become clarified. We are dealing with impermanence, right now, whether we know it or not, whether we like it or not. We are either not conscious of the implications of impermanence, or groping and clinging onto ideas about living-forever as a way of warding off impermanence, or we are stock-piling our money, possessions, food, memories, in an attempt to prepare for a pre-emptive strike against impermanence.
When we have a point of view on reality that acknowledges what is happening, (whatever it might be), without doubting it, without warding it off, without fighting it off, without shutting it away, our expectations on what is actually happening are not false, and whenever we are aligning our point of view to what is actually happening, and acknowledging what is occurring, we are not fooling ourselves in the least, and this is a step towards clarifying further expectations on what it is to be human and what it is to desire to live.
It requires a lot of courage to acknowledge what is actually occurring. When we, slow down, and experience ourselves experience ourselves, and not do any other activity, we are acknowledging what it is that is occurring in the immediate moment. It takes courage to acknowledge what is immediately going on, because it implies we are not fooling ourselves with excuses and theories, without justifications and preferences, without the involvement of beliefs. When we are experiencing ourselves experience ourselves in the immediate moment, we are not fooling ourselves about what it is we are experiencing or not, because, we are simply experiencing what it is we are experiencing—and if we’re not, if we’re thinking too much about our experience, if we’re daydreaming, planning our vacation, during our allotted time for experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, then we are fooling ourselves, then we are not actually in the immediate moment experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, and therefor perpetuating false expectations on what it is to be, to be in a moment, to be as a human in a moment of being.
When we stay true to our allotted time of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves by actually experiencing ourselves, we are, for the duration of our time, living the clarified expectation on what it is to be human. When we experience ourselves experience ourselves, we experience whatever it is we are experiencing, and whatever it is, is, whatever it is, and it is nothing else—but as soon as we try to escape it, or wish it were something else, or try to conquer it, or figure it out, we aren’t actually experiencing what it is that is presenting itself to/for experiencing. But when we are not fooling ourselves about our experience, which isn’t being unclear about embodying realistic expectations of being with ourselves experience ourselves, then we actually have an orientation of thought, a point of view, a focus on our human capacity, of what it is to be human, that is aligned with reality as how it is appearing in our experience, all of which supports our natural developmental growth process, as connected with engaging experiencing ourselves experience ourselves on a daily basis.
Life, in general, seeks to grow and evolve, to move, and surpass all odds for survival. How does, an orientation of thought, on experiencing ourselves experience ourselves help us do that? What is the fruition, what is the result, what is the surpassing of all odds for survival—the evolution, the maturation of growth? What does that look like with this point of view of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves?
Little saplings grow to become large trees. People grow into becoming strong human beings. Experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, on an ongoing basis, develops our ability to relate to life as it truly is, and by developing our ability to experience ourselves experience ourselves just as we are, ongoing, through our daily commitment to do so, we developmentally grow the capacity to handle more in life, deal with more, and be available for more life, and as we do so, healing happens, and trauma attached to our neurological make-up, to our habituated psychological reinforcement, to the outer world of stuff, people, places, and activities, all changes and transforms.
As we transform and gain the experience, again and again, of experiencing the changes that are happening in our experience and in our life all the time, we also can develop a sense for what is not changing.
As we, through time, lose the attachment to our identities both neurologically and psychologically, (psychosomatically), naturally in our awareness we can begin to wonder who are we really?
I’m not my hair, not my hair style, not my Facebook page, not the memory my mother has of me when I was seven, not what my boss thinks of me, not what I think of me—who am I?
The existentially cliché question, who am I?, naturally arises in our experience, when we are losing the ability to maintain a coherent narrative about ourselves. As we notice our thoughts move, it can appear that everything we think is shifting, and not only that, but even who we think we are, we notice is constantly shifting, and nothing can appear in our experience to remain consistent for very long.
We feel up, we feel down, we feel certain, we feel doubt. More and more, as we continue along experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, through our daily allotted time to do so, more and more, do we naturally, as part of developmental growth, lose the ability to know who or what we actually are, and this is healthy.
Our western world has a profound system for psychology in understanding and having a point of view, and an orientation of thought, around the psychological realities of being human, but the western world’s system of psychology is not the only psychological system in the world. Every culture has one, and as the western world, (due to the result of industrial-agriculture), remains as an expression of disconnection and distance from the immediate realities of the earth—it can be useful to look at earth-based systems of psychological development to help us gain reflection on what it is to be human.
There is a common theme in most earth-based orientations of thought for understanding what it is to be human, which has to do with transformation as a whole. In most of the world’s earth-based cultures there is a similarity for the necessity to lose what it is to think you know who you think you are, through a series of enduring trials, which, through forbearance, requires from the individual, a process of psychological dismantling and a perceptual disillusionment, in order to inhabit the fullness of what it is to be human, in order to keep the integrity of being human functionally alive within the group.
There is a need for humans to be humans without the attempt for us to try to be anything other than what we are. A need, that is in alignment with the integrity of each living being. To be as fully human as a tree is fully a tree as clouds are fully clouds as insects are fully insects, there is a need, on a basic environmental level, for us humans to be humans.
In order for us to be fully what it is to be us, it is a requirement that we need to go through a dismantling and disillusioning phase of life before we can arrive as agents of life in human form.
We all experience callings, a calling to have a family, a calling to go to school, a calling to make money, we all experience callings, because the life we are as humans needs to keep living in the direction towards living. However, not everyone experiences the calling to become fully human in themselves, and all callings no matter what, endure points of view on life, which becomes focused orientations of thought towards life. Most of these in the western world are not clarifying realistic expectations of what it is to be human, but are points of view on life that are used as necessary functions of maintaining social norms or group-thinking. And we, right now as people, are focused in whatever way our point of view on life is oriented.
The people who experience the calling to become fully human in themselves, are people who see the transparency of systematic thinking, orientations of thought, of all points of view, as only that, points of view, made up as any other. For it is in the experience of feeling called to become fully human, does a person feel a need for a type of freedom that is different, even if interconnected to social and psychological freedoms, than what can be explained by any system of thought. The people who experience the calling to become fully human in themselves, are people who are feeling a need for freedom from having a fixed identity, while, alive within, or as, a human body. The kind of system of thought that is needed then, is one that is based upon the transparency of what it is to experience, as an indication of having clear expectations on what it is to be human.
There is a truth in the human experience that calls for a freedom from any and all fixed sense of self, and if we engage ourselves on a daily basis in experiencing ourselves experience ourselves for an allotted amount of time, we at minimum provide ourselves an opportunity to glimpse who we truly are as being human—and what we may glimpse is what it is to be truly human within a human body, for what we are within a human body, is life itself inhabiting human form. And if we can see we are life itself inhabiting a human form, and know ourselves as life itself inhabiting a human form, then our expectations about reality become clarified and we never have to become confused about what it is to have a human experience and what it is to develop accordingly.
As long as we continue to experience ourselves experience ourselves one moment at a time, we are developmentally learning to abide as life itself within human form, and this helps us not to become confused about the continuation of life, as we are, after our bodies die, and after we enter into other realms of being.
Due to the faculties of self-reflection and language because we are humans, we are able to directly cut to the core of what it is to be alive, by experiencing ourselves experience ourselves in the immediacy of experiencing, which allows us to recognize that we are life itself in human form, from this point of view, it is a profound opportunity to be human because we can do just that, realize we are life itself in human form.
By experiencing ourselves experience ourselves with whatever it is we are experiencing, we are making an attempt at realizing what it is to be alive while being human, and recognizing what it is to be alive as not dependent on being human, but interdependent in helping us recognize ourselves. When we can recognize we are life itself, life can never forget that it has become conscious of itself, and the engagement of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves can continue even after the body dies, and continues until life recognizes it is life itself.
To experience ourselves experience ourselves as the gateway for recognizing we are life itself within human form, is to have clarified expectations about reality, the futility of impermanence, and in so doing, we focus desire of being alive towards experiencing what can never been disillusioned, life itself being.
Truth In Human Experience #10: Distinguishing Between Experience And Thinking, Relating To Our Live’s Feedback Loop: Becoming Unconditionally Alive
When we experience ourselves experience ourselves experiencing ourselves, we are taking responsibility for ourselves right on the spot, at the exact moment in which we are actually experiencing ourselves experience ourselves—soon, taking responsibility for ourselves, for our lives translates not only during the time allotted for experiencing ourselves experiences ourselves as the only activity we are doing at that moment, but into how we are with all things, and all our relations, in every aspect of our life—and as this occurs, as a natural side effect, we simply become further hungry to experience ourselves experience experiencing ourselves, which becomes a loop.
This loops generates a desire for taking further responsibility for ourselves in our lives, in relation to all things and people, places and activities, and in turn begins to reflect back to us, our desire to directly, on the spot, in the exact moment of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, to do just that, experience experiencing ourselves just as we are experiencing ourselves without fooling ourselves about whether we are actually experiencing ourselves experience ourselves or whether we actually are not and are only thinking—and only thinking about experiencing ourselves experience ourselves and only thinking about experiencing ourselves experience ourselves but actually are not experiencing ourselves experience ourselves thinking.
To become clear about these things in our experience becomes tremendously beneficial to us, once we make the motivational claim to actually want to experience ourselves experience ourselves, so that we can experience life more accurately for what life is. We gain such motivation as we discover the loop in our experience of, experiencing ourselves experience ourselves in the allotted, daily time to do so, as different from experience ourselves experience ourselves in other activities of relating to life, circumstances, and people.
The loop between experiencing ourselves experience ourselves during our allotted daily time to do so and in our lives as different than this allotted time to only do so, begins to intensify as we become hungry for more harmony in our lives. More harmony with experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, and getting clear in our experience what that is, and more harmony with experiencing reality for what it is, and becoming more clear about what it is to do so.
The loop between experiencing ourselves experience ourselves during our allotted daily time to do so and in our lives as different than this allotted time to only do so becomes indicative of simply what it is to be a person who hungers for harmony in life, for harmony in the lives of others. The loop becomes self-reflective in that, we see that by taking responsibility for ourselves, as expression of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves as different than merely thinking, as also through this distinction as becoming further desirous to take responsibility for if we are actually experiencing being in relation to others and all things, as experiencing only what that is to experience being in relation to what’s happening in our lives, as different than thinking we are experiencing what it is to be in relation to things in our lives.
Taking responsibility for ourselves in relation to all things, people, places, and activities, starts with simply a conscious desire to not want to cause harm or pain upon anything or anyone, and then, the next step is actually following through with that desire by not being a cause of pain or harm upon anyone or anything.
As we go along in this manner, between our time of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves as an expression of self-responsibility, and engaging responsibly with ourselves in relation to others, then the self-reflective feedback loop between inner-experience of whether we are upholding our activity as corresponding to our desire of not harming, not causing pain, for others, begins to intensify.
The feedback loop of self-reflection, as reflected in how we are doing with following through in not harming and not causing pain to others, becomes reflected in where we keep messing up. Messing up is not to become a motivator for perfection, because perfection isn’t a realistic expectation, but a thought, so, messing up between our desire to do no harm, not to cause pain to others, and our activity of follow-through, must be used as a moment/s of seeing how we are learning.
We must see, our messing up, as educational moments towards further self-recognition, and clarifying our perceptions, moments for waking up to, seeing and knowing, how to be helpful, how to cause less pain, confusion, harm, and suffering, how to act with less confusion in our approach towards our lives—and once we see it, we must implement it immediately, not later nor tomorrow but immediately.
We see we messed up, we made a mistake, we didn’t know we had caused some harm, or weren’t harmonious to a situation, and then we implement the difference in ourselves in accordance with others and the environment immediately. We integrate what we are learning on the spot, exactly at the moment. And when we do this, we evolve, and grow as people, and we evolve and grow as people very quickly, and in this sense, from the time we see we messed up to the time we learn and apply the difference, we are in the intensification of living our lives by our desires to not do harm to ourselves and to others.
The basic desire to not harm others or to ourselves, naturally arises through time, through our ongoing engagement with following through with our allotted time of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, it’s here, through continually sticking true to our daily time dedicated only for experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, do we, as a natural result of being with ourselves, find ourselves wanting to take further responsibility for ourselves, to further clarify the difference between thinking and experiencing, when we are not fully being with ourselves in a moment—it’s like we just naturally see, through time, we want to continue to be with ourselves just like we are being with ourselves when we are experiencing experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, but in every moment with everything we do, with every encounter we have, with every action we make, we just naturally begin to desire to want to be as responsible with ourselves as we are with ourselves when we are doing nothing other than experience ourselves experience ourselves, as an extension into all the other engagements we have in life.
And as we do so, we also begin to feel a need to experience ourselves experience ourselves more and more, in order to know for sure whether we actually are experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, so that we can become even further clear as to whether we are subtly fooling ourselves or not. And as we gain feedback from the outside world in regards to how we’re being helpful or not, we then reflect upon and look out our experience to see whether we are actually fooling ourselves on some level, that we are in someway, hiding out from reality, that we are in someway not showing up completely, that we are in someway still clutching to some corner for some comfort as a form of not completely experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, right here, now in this exact moment.
And as we go along with this kind of feedback loop, naturally we just offer the ways in which we hold ourselves back from life and from experiencing how life actually is, in order to experience what there is now to experience that wasn’t available to us to experience previously. That on some level, we become hungry to experience what we’ve never experienced before, which isn’t like taking a cruise to experience what a cruise feels like, but rather, is like experiencing what we’ve never experienced before in relation to our immediate life because up until this moment, our lives have been limited from experiencing experience further due to causes and conditions surrounding our misaligned approach with reality, our misguided thoughts, beliefs, concepts, our unworked trauma, our unconscious ideas—that through experiencing ourselves experience ourselves through time, through our allotted daily time to do so, and then reaching out into the world of our lives as a further expression of wanting to experience ourselves experience ourselves, as going further than what we’ve experienced previous in our ordinary lives, we become hungry to want to learn about where we have hang-ups on reality, where we are shut-down, where our thoughts and beliefs are counter productive to our wellbeing and to the wellbeing of the circumstances, situations, emotions, and people we meet.
We become hungry to learn how to experience.
Basically we can, through experiencing ourselves experience ourselves through our daily allotted time to do so, see that all of our thoughts about reality, are only that, thoughts, and—if we stick with experiencing ourselves experience ourselves further, we can see, our thoughts about reality, are not only wrong, because they are thoughts about something, but we can see thoughts for what they are, as helpful and useful in relation to life, but thoughts are thoughts and reality is reality, and—through this distinction we can further recognize that our confusion between thoughts and reality have been an ongoing source of turmoil for ourselves, for others, and the external world.
And as we can become clear and clearer about seeing the difference between thoughts and experience within ourselves, within our experience, between actually experiencing ourselves experience ourselves and only looking at our thinking experience think, we are able to become less attached to our thoughts and beliefs about reality, allow our thoughts and beliefs to be as they are, and recognize in order to engage in life in a helpful and non-harmful way, we have to, must surrender what we think, in order to actually, directly, meet the circumstances and situations in our lives with more openness, with more possibility for experiencing what it is to experience reality, and all of what is happening, without getting in our own way.
By cultivating motivation to experience reality for just what it is through the continuation, through time, of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves on a daily basis, we naturally want to experience what it is to experience reality outside of what we ever thought about it, what we ever knew about it, what we had judged about it, what we came to believe about it, what we idealized about it, what we refused about it. As our motivation/s for engaging life changes, and is reflected in our behavior, and the people, places, activities, and situations we find ourselves with, the more our loop of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves during our daily allotted time intensifies, as well as, experiencing ourselves experience ourselves in life as different than our designated time for doing just that. We have to come to see that it is through, experiencing ourselves experience ourselves during our allotted time, do we naturally become interested in doing the same when we are away from only experiencing ourselves experience ourselves as the activity of the moment, and that we need the daily, designated time to do so, even more than we had ever thought, or had ever given credit for.
When we come to recognize in ourselves that we need to experience ourselves experience ourselves on a daily basis as a separate activity from other activities in our lives, then we have come to recognize how to be the most beneficial for ourselves, and the most helpful for engaging others, and engaging our lives as a whole. And as the feedback loop intensifies from experiencing ourselves experience ourselves on a daily basis as a separate activity from other activities in our lives, and from experiencing ourselves experience ourselves as attempt towards experiencing reality for what it is, which is motivated from the same responsibility for doing so, our motivation intensifies, our approach to towards our lives intensifies, our transformation intensifies, and our desire for being as helpful and non-harmful to our own clarification about experience and thinking, and being helpful and non-harmful for experiencing other situations and people as possible, our ability to experience life intensifies, and we live more life-filled with more life in life, and this provides us a basis for becoming unconditionally alive.