Most of us aren’t experiencing ourselves experiencing ourselves at this exact moment, or are making time on a daily basis to do so. Our lives are full of stuff that reflect the life we want to live, and in so doing so, we are pursuing the necessary means towards fulfilling the dream of the life we want to live—but in so doing, we are neglecting immediately, now, what our lives are, just as they are, whether we like how they are or not; it’ like we’re on a treadmill, and we’re just going, and as we’re going, all this time is going by, and we don’t know when, or if, we’ll ever get off the treadmill, maybe perhaps, the treadmill will finally stop when we’re about to die; but that just becomes wishful thinking.
That’s the way most of us are living our lives.
But as the world is changing, the dreams of our lives begin to change as well, and what was one time considered realistic begins to appear less so; and as we age, and death appears closer, and our lives are full of the same stuff with the same reasons attached to it all: our actions, places, people, and stuff, that we identify with, can begin to feel less realistically important and vital to our well-being than we had originally foresaw happening. We become disillusioned about what is actually happening with our lives, and with reality, right now, right at this exact moment.
It is when we feel this quality of dissatisfaction in our lives, do we then become naturally interested in turning towards ourselves, as a potential gateway for finding out what we can do to address the appearing characteristics of our lives, both internally and externally, in a different way than we, up till now, had yet to do.
Stop right now.
Stop reading this, but before you do, do the following:
1) Turn away from the screen. Look, right now, at the corner where one wall meets another wall, and just stare at it, without moving your head or your eyes, (eye blinking is fine), but your eyes are open and gazing at the corner where one wall meets another.
2) Notice you are breathing, notice your body is touching the chair or ground it is sitting in/on, notice what it feels like to feel your body. Notice yourself breathing, notice the weight, and posture of your body. Do not move, just notice what it is, to not move.
3) Feel everything that is happening inside of you, notice all the thoughts that are swarming, or whatever they are doing.
4) Let go of thinking, and
experience yourself experience yourself, right now.
Do this right now for 5 minutes and do not return to this post until you’ve set your timer, and your time goes off; do this now.
5 minutes later:
The only different thing, really, is that we simply engaged ourselves in a different way than we had engaged ourselves previously up to this moment, and maybe for some of us, we just engaged ourselves in a way that we never had in our entire life.
By making this pause in our life, just like we did, and we make this pause for ourselves everyday for at least half-an-hour up to an hour everyday, we will change. The change that will happen to us, both internally and externally, has been mentioned in a previous post, and the motivation of this kind of change, must become self-evident.
It must become self-evident, that we need to make this change in our lives of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves on a daily basis for an allotted amount of time that we stick with, because we are not immortal, and we will, at one point or another have to, HAVE TO, face the reality of everything we are not facing about our lives. And when that moment comes, to the extent that we actually made friends with the truth of our experience, just as it is, will be to the extent that we are able to be at peace with experiencing the chaos of having zero control and zero ability to persuade the outcome of any unwanted activity of losing our lives.
We can learn right here, now, that we cannot negotiate with reality; and if we can learn to experience what it is we are experiencing, exactly, here, now, then we are developing the muscle for being able to experience any experience that we will find ourselves experiencing.
We have to be able to experience ourselves experience whatever it is that we are experiencing, in order to become genuine, trustworthy friends to ourselves; and by developing the muscle for experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, just as we are, we become strong people.
Start now with yourself, and the benefits will become self-evident. We must learn to yield to what is happening, whether we like it or not, we must learn to yield to the reality of what is occurring in our experience, in order to undermine needless suffering, attachment to what we think and to our identities, in order to make room to experience our experience just as it is; in order to make room for life, for just how life is and how life naturally moves and unfolds through us and in the world.
Experiencing ourselves experience ourselves undermines our ideas about ourselves and about our lives, because what we may experience has no limits, and can contradict everything we’ve ever known, thought, learned, or we’re told—experiencing ourselves experience ourselves can illuminate the lies of what it is to simply be alive, both in ourselves and what our consumer culture consistently, reinforcing tells us.
You are about to die, right now.
Where are you?
Where are you in your thoughts?
Are you upset you didn’t take that cruise?
Did the shutting away of your emotions in not dealing with your life, in any respect, truly help you?
Was clinging to all the activities of what define you, as you, and all the joy that you found in things you loved to do, actually, at all, really helpful to you, for being with yourself, for being with others, for being with life?
Or could you have made more room, to have been less distracted, to have been more with yourself, more with your discomfort, more with harder emotions, and what you felt too impatient to look at in yourself?
We can start now, to experience ourselves experience ourselves, or we can wait. But, if we decide to wait, when the time comes to experience ourselves experience ourselves, we make the decision to do so, in the present moment, and we make the decision to stick with doing so, in the present moment.
By not experiencing ourselves now, we will have to experience ourselves experience ourselves in the now, whenever it will be, but when it is the now of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, it is the now, because experience ourselves experience ourselves is not being put off for another time.
We will have to face now whether we like it or not, at some point, (and while there are a lot of things we can use to clutch onto, as a way of having some safety with us), when we face the now, especially when we don’t want to, we will, whether we like it or not, have to come to admitting what our experience actually is. And if we are in pain, we will have to feel how uncomfortable we are, how disappointed in ourselves and with life we are, how much regret we may have—and if we do not do so, if we do not experience the truth of our real experience about these things, and if we try at all cost to ward off the pain of the immediate moment, especially when we’re confronted with it, we will be profoundly misguiding ourselves and others. The denial in our experience will inevitably perpetuate and manifest outwardly traumas of ignorance, positivity (clinging/grasping), and aggression—and in so doing so, we will make the world a much more suspicious, unsafe, and or dangerous place for others—all because we didn’t make enough room in ourselves to actually experience what we actually experience.
We have thoughts and ideas and beliefs about not experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, we have attitudes, projections, and fears around not doing so—we feel aggression and un-fairness about it all. But if we let our guard down, and not take things so personally, and become open to ourselves and what we actually are experiencing, regardless of what we think about it, regardless of what the world told us about it, then we actually change, and we actually are being friendly towards ourselves and developing a friendly way for engaging the external world around us.
It’s not coincidence that when we embrace the darkest realities of ourselves, do we then begin to experience understanding and compassion for those who have not allowed themselves to experience their own darkness. It is through experiencing ourselves experience the darkest realities of ourselves, are we then by happenstance, making that much room for ourselves, for our experience, (and by not acting out and by not suppressing our experience), are we then, actually loving ourselves.
The more room we can make to experience ourselves experience ourselves without acting out or suppressing our experience, (which is a very friendly thing to do for ourselves), the more we are actually loving ourselves, and the more understanding and compassion we may gain into the experience of others and the world at large.
With such friendliness towards ourselves, by experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, we are also able to be availably more friendly towards others around us. We can actually be able to be with our lives in a different way.
Experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, on a daily basis, during the time we’ve allotted ourselves to do so, must become self-evidently valuable, and once it does our lives can radically transform—and until it does
we are still caught up in ideas about ourselves and the world, about beliefs, and isms of all type—about what to ward off and what to cultivate.
Once you begin to actually experience yourself experience your experience without a book in hand, with the computer in front of your face, without a reason to justify anything at all, then
you can never go back.