If we do indeed decide to stick to a routine of daily connecting to our immediate experience, not only does our relationship to the external world and to people change, but our relationship to ourselves changes as well.
Most of the time we may perceive our lives as something of an external-self-existing-world outside of ourselves that we participate in, but when we begin to focus on the immediacy of our experience as it is occurring now, we begin to redirect our sense, our stance, on what constitutes our lives within the realities of the external world; and we do so not by making any effort towards re-constituting our point of view on what constitutes our lives, but simply by engaging ourselves in being with our experience as it is one moment at a time as indicative of our allotted time to do so, we inhabit a re-constitutional point of view on life.
By being with the immediacy of our experience, whether we recognize it or not, we actually are taking immediate responsibility for our lives; and throughout the duration of our allotted time of experiencing ourselves just as we are, we are not dependent upon any external reference-point except of only what we think about the external-world. What this implies is that, by experiencing ourselves being with our experience just as it is, we are renouncing the need to depend upon any other immediate point of referentiality, except for what is immediately occurring within our experience, (which as we may notice immediately changes i.e. one thought leads to another), enabling a complete activity for taking responsibility for ourselves, which simply put, is a friendly thing to do.
We are taking responsibility for ourselves by simply doing nothing other than doing what it is to not be doing any other activity, but experiencing ourselves just as we are experiencing ourselves in the immediacy of doing that, and since there is no other immediate object of attention in our field of awareness but the immediacy of our experience and just what it is, we are confronted with options of seeing ourselves as we are simply as we are experiencing ourselves, which is an act of not being confused by what it is we are seeing in our immediate experience. Our options, for what we may immediately apprehend about how we are being with ourselves when we are experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, are one of two things either
1) we are not actually allowing ourselves to experience ourselves just as we are, and we are too fascinated by our thinking and fantasies, too pre-occupied, too distracted,
2) we are actually allowing ourselves to experience ourselves as we are, immediately as we are, by intentionally attending to our immediate experience, i.e. feeling our body connected to where it is, noticing we are breathing, noticing our thoughts and emotions, noticing tendencies, patterns, and habits associated with preferences of behavior and activity.
As we simply are experiencing ourselves as we are experiencing ourselves, we are by happenstance taking immediate responsibility for our lives because we are not distracted by any other activity, which is a friendly thing to do. We simply are exactly where we are and we’re going to be exactly where we are until our allotted time of only experiencing ourselves experience ourselves is finished; complete responsibility. Once our allotted time is finished, who knows where we might be or where we might find ourselves. Life could again pick up into the momentum of warding off pain and accumulating pleasure, but before that happens, as we are simply being with our experience, exactly and precisely as it is, we are not perpetuating the behaviors and activities associated with our preferences, and therefore, by the degree to which we are simply experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, whether we like it or not, we are taking full responsibility for our lives, which is a completely friendly thing to do.
It’s a friendly thing by happenstance of being with ourselves experience ourselves as we are experiencing ourselves as an act of responsibility for ourselves, because, in the gestural behavior of not doing any other activity, except the activity of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, we are expressing integrity with ourselves, for staying with our decision to do so, which is an expression of respect towards remaining with the activity of not doing any other activity, except the activity of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, which is an act of respect for our decision and engagement in this way, for the time allotted to do so, which is similar to behaving as a reliable friend; but this time, we are a reliable friend for ourselves.
It’s very naked in our awareness to take complete responsibility for ourselves, right on the spot, when a desire arises in our thoughts to be doing something else, or to experience ourselves fantasizing about something which has nothing to do with the immediacy of experiencing the moment, the immediacy for experiencing.
It may feel painful to learn so much about ourselves, stuff we didn’t even really know was there, or stuff we really didn’t want to admit to ourselves about ourselves and what we actually think about things and life, but when we do, when we do experience the nakedness of our own true experience of ourselves, we are taking responsibility for ourselves, just for how things are, and just for how we are—whether we’re comfortable or uncomfortable with what we learn and see about ourselves—by in so doing so, we also become friends with who we really are exactly as a moment of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves presents itself; there is zero hiding i.e. if we experience ourselves day-dream, we experience the reality of our state-of-mind day-dreaming.
Up until now we’ve been friends with ourselves as people substantialized by an absorption based upon referentially relying on the norms of our daily moments to dictate the sense of security we have with ourselves and the world around us, as indicative of our limitations in dealing with life, and allowing the 3 manifestations of trauma: ignorance, positivity (clinging/grasping), and aggression to run our connection with all things.
But, more and more, as we simply experience being with ourselves exactly as we are, more and more our sense of friendship to ourselves transforms, and we come naturally inquisitive towards our own psychological healing possibilities. Through time, we are able to learn to distinguish between our thoughts, what thoughts are and what thinking is, and what it is to be with ourselves just as we are, just as we see ourselves think. That indeed there is a difference between thinking and noticing thoughts occurring in our experience, and when we begin to, through time, make the distinction between just thinking about something, and actually being with our experience as it is with thoughts-feelings happening but without actually feeling-thinking about anything particular. Such awareness about these distinctions in our experience of experiencing ourselves just as we are in the immediacy of a moment, provides the ground for developing a sense of trust towards ourselves, and trust is the foundation for any long-lasting, genuine, friendship.
Developing trust towards our experience is different than developing trust towards watching a TV show we like to watch. When watching a TV show, ongoingly, we don’t necessarily have to develop any trust towards the show. All the characters are reliable, the writer of the style of the show remains consistent and all we have to do is watch it. But, developing trust towards ourselves requires us to actually notice what is occurring in the immediacy of our experience, which is as simple as watching a TV show, and just as effortless. The only thing is, we actually have to make time to sit down and watch the TV show of our experience, just like we have to sit down and make time to watch the TV show of TV; now this time we might become confused by what to expect about what we are watching as we are experiencing ourselves experience ourselves, because getting to know ourselves in this way of engagement can be very revealing.
And when we are watching the TV show of our experience, noticing what are noticing as it is occurring in the immediacy of our experience and doing nothing else at that time, (which isn’t a TV show), whether we know it or not, we are developing trust towards ourselves, for just being there, for just being there with ourselves and not doing any other activity; we are getting to know ourselves just as we would get to know a new friend.
Developing trust towards ourselves isn’t something you go do like developing our muscles at the gym and actually build muscle-mass, rather, developing trust is the byproduct of simply experiencing what we are experiencing when we are experiencing it, within the time we’ve allotted ourselves to engage in the non-activity of this activity; and allotting time to ourselves to being with ourselves engaged in experiencing ourselves as experiencing ourselves, indeed is like allotting time to do anything else, and the limits of our brain-muscle-mass, our neuroplasticity, for dealing with ourselves and with life expands.
Developing trust towards ourselves happens as byproduct of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves because we simply learn about ourselves during the time we set aside to do so, (which is also developing and using the neuroplasticity of our brain, but as a different function than what we usually associate using neuroplasticity functionality with, like learning to play an instrument); and in so learning about ourselves, like learning about nuances of behavior and sensitivities of our friends, (using our neuroplasticity in this way), we are able to more clearly see ourselves and understand ourselves, and therefore we become less and less self-deluded about our own tendencies and our own ways of experiencing, all of which provides a further sense of personal okayness with ourselves and having honest expectations on our limits with dealing with life and dealing with ourselves.
Becoming friends with ourselves through the medium of experiencing ourselves experience ourselves everyday, is no small task. It does imply that we are turning away from how we’ve perceived ourselves in connection to external reference points and making a new connection towards ourselves as the basis for connecting to the external world.
As our associational behavior/s with our objects change/s as a result of continuously making friends with ourselves, on a daily basis, by experiencing ourselves experience ourselves just as we are, we open ourselves up to the possibility of relating to the world in a different way, (in a way we’ve never have yet to experience as known in our personal history), and in so doing our connection with how we were engaging our lives before we began to consciously make time to experience ourselves as we are experience ourselves, changes, and how it changes reflects the degree to which we actually are trusting the immediacy of our experience, (trusting ourselves), something which only you can measure, something which only you can or cannot fool yourself about.
Only you know how honest you are in your experience with experiencing yourself or not, and no one else, only you can make the distinction between whether you are actually experiencing the reality of your immediate experience or whether your distracted and preoccupied with not following through with your own desire to be with yourself just as you are, and experiencing yourself experience yourself in the time you’ve allotted to do so.
However, at times due to our own confusion about whether we are actually with ourselves or not, as the result of identifying the manifestation of the trauma of ignoranc in our experience by being with our experience and watching ourselves experience confusion in these ways, it becomes helpful to find a friend who is engaging his or her life in a similar way, at which point, when such an inclination naturally arises, it is indicative of the change you are experiencing towards yourself, as becoming more and more of a friend to yourself, and when this occurs, it is an expression of genuinely trusting the friendship of yourself.