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at crucial times I was supposed to, which
were at times when

I wasn’t encouraged to
nor not not encouraged to
where a large silence of tension lay

horizon line of heart-failure
and the TV

or movie,

simply where there were
no words

weren’t invited
nor known if


silence for voice where felt

and didn’t

speak at places where needed needed needed

and so it’s both
our faults

it, my

wasn’t encouraged
because you didn’t know how to do that


I didn’t do it anyway, but
when I tried…

you have no idea how lucky you are
I’m alive


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